— “Shalom and welcome to Bank Mizrahi Main Tel Aviv Business Center. If you know the extension number, please press it now. For Business Banking press 1. For Foreign Trade press 2. For Financial Services press 3. For Private Banking press 4. For General Services press 5.”
Let’s try Financial Services. 3.
— “For Fleta press 6. For Rita press 7. For Moshe press 8.”
According to Google, Fleta is a brand of classical guitars; It is also the Federal Law Enforcement Training Accreditation, a US government agency whose website looks just like FSF‘s, because both are built using Plone, but FLETA don’t give Plone any credit. You bastards! According to Wikipedia, Fleta is also a treatise on English common law written in 1290. But that could be a lie. Anyway, i’ve never heard of anyone Israeli whose name is Fleta. There is Mufleta, which is a traditional pastry served after Passover when Chametz is allowed to be eaten, but i don’t think that it’s related. So i decided to keep out of Fleta. Between Rita and Moshe i went all sexist and chose Moshe. 8.
— “Hello … I’m not sure that i got to the correct place, but i have a savings account at Analyst and i need to check the balance through Mizrahi …”
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Moshe was obviously a bad choice, and not so much my bad choice, as Bank Mizrahi’s, because it really made me feel like moving that savings account to a different service. Finally, a women answered:
— “Hello, i have a savings account at Analyst and i need to check the balance through Mizrahi …”
— “A second!”
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Then she came on again:
— “A moment!”
After a couple of minutes more another woman answered and served me very well. But it took me a few good minutes to reach her, during which i decided to switch to a different bank. I feel a bit like Maddox now.
Maybe i shall be more effective if i write this in Hebrew …
P. S. I’m rich.