Search and destroy (2009-02-23)

WordPress has a nice feature – it is possible to see what did people look for in search engines when they found my blog.

The variety of topics on which i write must be a goldmine for search engine optimization, but instead of making money out of it, i just put the most interesting of those search queries on this page. WordPress cuts the search queries after 40 characters, so sometimes i make an educated guess about the ends of long queries; the guessed parts appear in italics.

I am absolutely fascinated by the idea that real people actually searched for these things. Some of them are pretty unbelievable.

At least once someone tried to be funny and “spam” me by writing a lot of search queries with the words “amir e. aharoni” in them. As with any other kind of joke, this can be funny as long as it is tasteful. In any case, this kinda stuff is unlikely to end up on this page. Also, please note that because WordPress cuts the search queries, if you search for something like “amir e. aharoni uses linux and firefox and eats his own farts”, i won’t see the farts part anyway.

underwater sex and fun – Ehhh … yeah!

flash movie drambuie

ya in english means

multiply gays videos – But i thought that gays don’t multiply…

does the bible know enything about everything

girl chasing boys

aharoni, armenia, doctor

ussr award wikipedia – In Soviet Russia barnstar awards you!

braille to the night – My blog has a rabid glow. It’s like learning a new language!

arabs and jews in tel aviv – That’s something constructive – seriously.

stallman firmwares – Dear oh dear, thank you for the interest in Free Software, but if you can’t spell the word “firmware”, you won’t understand Stallman’s writing style anyway.

hebraism cars

GOGOL ישראלי – The word in Hebrew is “Israeli”.

user switching fedora beep beep beep

fob definition security

ice storage energy

people speaking in sleep

tel aviv russian girls

mama vidio

wish for new born to mama

parking in Jerusalem – Such a thing does not exist. You won’t find it even on Google.

richard stallman marriage – Oh! People care about the saucy details of Free Software movement leaders personal lives.

need software that makes my laptop type – It’s not software, it’s hardware, it’s called a keyboard, and you should have got one with the laptop that you bought.

gay coffee house in tel aviv



russian icq greetings i like you

old black and white movies with song “farewell”

President Puten – Someone actually looked for it!

moskow flat

russia email classified wood 2007 – What could that be?

eighties lolcats – I CAN HAZ STUPID HAIRKUT? KTHX

hebrew girls – One can also try “Israelite girls”.

family music download – FBI Warning! Downloading music may destroy your family!

Vegetarian SPAM – Did someone actually want to eat it?

soberness translation Quenya

manufacturers of tapestrie

ussr movie sex

tel aviv sex parade – Not gay parade; Sex parade!

unicode art – Something’s gotta replace ASCII art, i suppose.

good buddhist russian wars for me education and also good buddhist germany good german wars for me education – What??

newborns babies poetries in persian

“mark shuttleworth” jew – O tempora, o mores! He’s just trying to take over the world, it doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s a Jew.

pot head pixies score – Score? You mean musical notation? You don’t need it. Just smoke something, plug in the guitar and rock off.

monkey riding a rocket

wedding manga picture – I’m happy to hear about geeks finding love.

ussr patriotic march songs

mama/beauty gay

my Russian mom

persian ice cream

hebrew appear

washing machine unicode – A few years ago i heard that every washing machine and refrigerator will have an operating system. I guessed that i missed the moment when it actually happened. Now people are checking that the operating system in their washing machine supports Unicode.

“If programming languages were” – I hope that he liked that stupid write-up of mine…

how to write a torah in wikipedia

how to write amir en japanese

Puten and and the russian politic

russian langwich

unicode lolcat – UNICODE LOLCAT … IS UNICODE.

ogg and magog bible – This is just a typo of course, but it makes you think.

japanese langwich – Why does it happen? I don’t remember writing “langwich”. (Except on this page…)

gangsta wedding

screen kills a gay

kosovan to english free translator – As far as i know there’s no Kosovan language and people there speak Albanian and Serbian. But maybe it’s someone’s new strategy to prove that Kosovo is a separate country. Or maybe MeahevServi is having fun with me again.

how to copy a file with gwbasic – Wow.

black people understand torah better

communism unicode

why do russians add ya to their name – a funny coincidence, but you can find the answer on Wikipedia: Names in Russian Empire, Soviet Union and CIS countries.

funny reason for not going to work – try this: “I drank half a bottle of Aftershock last night and i feel that i prefer to be shot than to get out of bed.” (It happened and i didn’t get fired.)

convert guitar to guitar hero guitar – Hmm, recursion.


free cry porn is too hard

eran zur is gay

what can we do to make lebanon a better place

Simple to Understand Poetry – If it’s Alexander S. Pushkin or Neil P. Young, then it’s probably simple. If it’s Shlomo Artzi, it’s not simple.

Free Non Disclosure agreement forms – How lame must a workplace be to search for such things! If i’d work there, i would sign those NDA’s and then i’d sell all the secrets to competitors, ‘cuz the company wouldn’t have the money for lawyers anyway. The trouble is that probably no-one would be really interested in the secrets of such a lame company anyway.

russia free big movies

poems on pollution can ruin a child`s health

aharoni fire station

steal from castup – Yeah, go for it! As long as they don’t support Mozilla properly, they deserve it!

russian atudai song – Hi, Anton!


dead lolcat

top ten things to do in Transnistria – This is one of the best, ever. Although you probably don’t understand why.

cant see castup video – Don’t worry, you don’t miss anything. Really!

free laptop conspiracy – Yeah – let’s sell cheap laptops with free software to poor African kids, so they will become smart and overthrow their stupid warlords and then all the heart-shattering stories from Nigerian spam will become true! What a great conspiracy!

criticizing music, how to – Start with listening to it.

black people speaking albanian

what is Mickey mouse in latin?

edit your pics make your eyes weird

What did Lebanese think of the Lebanon War – They didn’t like it.

leaving on a fucking jet plane

funny medical images

tel aviv is gay – No, Tel Aviv is ghey.

khitrenovich – Hi again, Anton!

myspace social linguistics

gay arab photo ah

sarit hadad naked – more than once

sarit hadad lossless

destroy my files before i get fired

spam, vegetarian?

what were bands – Theoretically some kid in the future can ask his mom – “What were bands?” But it won’t happen, because rock n’ roll can never die.

underwater sex deaths

mickey mouse gay


buy fioricet – I don’t understand why bother searching for it. The results arrive in my inbox every couple of minutes.

quaalude software

i fucked up my job interview at microsoft – Good for you.

english exercisis – It’s good that you’re looking for them, ‘cuz you need some.

say gabso – You too.

gay clowns – A few days ago i heard that a gay kindergarten was opened in Tel Aviv. So gay clowns shouldn’t be too hard to find.

myspace lesbians unicodes

say no to vegetarianism!

oh no she died

how perl made me a hero

free english exercisis – yeah, you need some

c# culture – it doesn’t exist

the history of jerusalem from the bibble – hey diddle diddle the cat and the fiddle!

win32 “still worth learning” – no, and never was

no – yes!

artemy lebedev jew – I should have seen it coming. No, i don’t think that he’s a Jew. It’s true that a disproportionate number of famous people from Russia are not ethnic Russians, and many of them are Jews, but there are good reasons to believe that Tëma is very Russian.

punishment isarel eurovision

rick astley unicode

richard stallman family money

gay big-but porno

unicode art bus

president vladimir puten

police aharoni word

japanese peoples loves russians absolute – totally

catalan gay song

i’m liberal, but tel-aviv is bad – I couldn’t agree more.

Arcadi Gaydamak

There are so many weird search queries about Arcadi Gaydamak, that they deserve their own section:

Gaydamak arcadi speak hebrew – Sorry to disappoint – no, he doesn’t speak Hebrew, and that ain’t gonna change soon.

Arcadi Gaydamak israel bible

how much money does gaydamak have – If i had enough initiative to leverage the fact that so many people search for stuff about Gaydamak, then i would have as much money as he does, and it would even be legal.

arcadi gaydamak freemason

arcadi gaydamak is on myspace

arcadi gaydamak russian empire

Arcadi Gaydamak email address – Try his personal secretary – .

gaydamak lyrics hebrew

Arcadi Gaydamak how much money

Gaydamak Translations in Canada

gaydamak song

gaydamak lyrics

gaydamak poster

gaydamak mp3

fuck gaydamak

gaydamak house picture

israeli song gaydamak

Notable searches that appear often but are not funny or interesting

internet explorer unicode

internet explorer doesn’t work hebrew – Eat your pants, Microsoft: The thing that made Internet Explorer so fucking important in Israel is not so perfect afterall.

firefox hebrew problems linux – I’m fair and i don’t censor that. UPDATE: Hebrew problems in Firefox should be fixed in version 3.

coffee house in tel aviv

Warning: Attempt to remove nonexistent passive grab – almost every day

goldfrapp CD won’t mp3 – Search Google for “Turn off AutoPlay” and follow the instructions. Then try to MP3 it again.

how to read hebrew in xml in c# – In Unicode, ya mama!

“The Light Will Stay On” walkabouts mp3 – email me at

how to play “copy control” cd in winamp – Turn off autoplay on your Windows computer. Better yet, install Linux instead of Windows. If nothing helps, return the CD to the store!

make sure my comments are correct – Use Mozilla Firefox to surf the web. It has a built-in spelling checker. Get Firefox!

last bus to jerusalem from haifa – Go to They revamped their site lately. You can get the times for all the buses in all cities. It works really well in Mozilla Firefox now. Or send an SMS with your question to 2800.

crying misha moscow 1980 video – a lot of people are searching for this and similar things