No Nukes, part 4

Iran is given a deadline to respond to UN demands about its nuclear program.

This is not fair. I don’t remember Israel responding to any UN demands about its nuclear program.

That’s right: I know that Iran is a theocratic dictatorship that shows clear intentions to destroy my country and a maybe a bunch of others, like the USA. And Israel is a (perceived) responsible democracy, that too often shows idiotic compassion towards its worst enemies; Israel also says in some way or another that it is “not going to be the first country in the Middle East to use nuclear weapons”. None of it matters. Someone – please – break this vicious circle – now.

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And on the flat-screen we kill and we’re killed again

My parents left to a vacation in Karlovy Vary. It was planned before the war, so they are not “refugees”. But before he left, my father said:

— “If they bomb our home in Nesher, call us. We’ll fly to Moscow.”

It was a joke, of course.

Still, i can’t escape the thought that that’s just what our enemy wants us to do – to go back to Moscow.

I was born in Moscow and lived there for eleven years. I love that city. I love the Russian language and the Russian culture. I have family and friends there. I can find a job there. But i just can’t think of going to Moscow in terms of “going back”, certainly not in the sense of “going back home”. My home is here.

I had an email discussion about this war with Mira, my pen-pal from United Arab Emirates. She’s a devout Muslim; she’s also very intelligent, and quite modern and liberal and feminist too. She says that Arabs – including herself – support Nasrallah, because everything that he says becomes a fact, while the Israeli government lies all the time. While i can’t accuse my government of excessive honesty, i find it rather disappointing that there are people who openly support someone just because he’s sincere about being a murderer of innocent civilians. The discussions with her put me back in proportion, though – i’m not talking about the numbers, the fact that we killed much more Lebanese than Hizballah killed Israelis, but the fact that something doesn’t make sense in all this.

I mean, seriously – can’t we end it in a few minutes? Don’t we know where those Katyusha’s are shot from? Can’t we just destroy the launchers? Why do we bomb civilians so hardly? Did they really all have launchers in their backyards?

Trouble is, no-one will ever take responsibility. Even if a government commission will list every single failure and human rights violation in this war, the generals and the politicians will keep getting their fat salaries and they will have bodyguards that look like Armani models until the rest of their life. An international court won’t help either – how can anyone trust them when they chase Serb criminals religiously, but don’t dare to touch Saddam, the Assad family or Kim Jong Il?

Someone must be laughing at our naïveté here.

No Nukes, part 3

In a bold marketing move Microsoft announced that it will release a portable digital music player called “Fucking”.

That’s right – the meaning of the word “Zune” (זיון) in Hebrew is “fucking”. Imagine, if you will, this dialog:

— “Hello, i’d like to buy Microsoft Fucking for my grandson. How much is it?”

— “Let’s see … 689.95 NIS for the Fucking Device … 59.95 NIS for a monthly subscription to Microsoft® Fucking Music Service™ – it’s pretty good, you can listen to Weezer, Beck and David Byrne … and you also need to sign an agreement stating that you know that if your grandson tries to crack Microsoft® Fucking Crap™, you will be automatically fucked – i mean, sued.”

— “Fuck.”


Oh (edit): Did anyone get the Weezer, Beck and David Byrne joke?

Amir E. Aharoni vs. Shalom Gad

Watch me.

He buys a seven hundred channels mixer,
Connects microphones,
Connects left to left,
Connects right to right,
Connects to electricity,
Finds the red button
And presses
It.

May the temple be built.

(from “Alcohol and Cigarettes” by Shalom Gad)

הוא קונה מיקסר שבע מאות ערוצים
מחבר מיקרופונים
מחבר לפט ללפט
מחבר רייט לרייט
מחבר לחשמל
מוצא את הכפתור האדום
ולוחץ
עליו.

ייבנה המקדש.

(מתוך “אלכוהול וסיגריות” מאת שלום גד)

Vodka

This just in: Vodka goes very well with ice cream. Makes sense – it’s like a five dollar milkshake.

I’m writing a paper about languages of three peoples that have a long historical argument about the very hard question, “Who invented vodka?” I’m talking about Russian, Belarusian and Lithuanian. I may throw Polish in at some stage, too.

Vegan Spam

Here you go:

X-Gmail-Received: af5da61812e6f0b5e7f7133d607317213a97b783
Delivered-To: amir.aharoni@gmail.com
Received: by 10.65.248.15 with SMTP id a15cs102679qbs;
        Mon, 17 Jul 2006 22:42:20 -0700 (PDT)
Received: by 10.49.41.18 with SMTP id t18mr336896nfj;
        Mon, 17 Jul 2006 22:42:20 -0700 (PDT)
Return-Path: <?WORD??WORD?@?mail_domain?>
Received: from F246A7D4ECFC4A2 ([210.75.200.85])
        by mx.gmail.com with ESMTP id r33si415786nfc.2006.07.17.22.42.18;
        Mon, 17 Jul 2006 22:42:20 -0700 (PDT)
Received-SPF: fail
Message-ID: <36781866608732.A3D0FB1D07@5MVMO>
From: "{WORD)" <{_WORD){WORD)@{MAIL_DOMAIN}>
To: <amir.aharoni@gmail.com>
Subject: {}NEW} {STOCK_2}
Date: {DATE}
MIME-Version: 1.0
X-Mailer: Microsoft Office Outlook, Build 11.0.5510
X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V6.00.2800.1106
Thread-Index: {ALNUM[36-36]}
Content-Type: text/plain;
        charset="Windows-1252"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit

{BODY}

It gives a peek into the spammers’ inner systems. {}NEW} {STOCK_2}, {BODY}, {_WORD){WORD)@{MAIL_DOMAIN} are probably templates, placeholders for actual values and something went wrong in their processing. The actual message that i received was blank.

Also, it was sent by Microsoft Office Outlook. Is Outlook efficient enough to process spam? Or is it fake?