Known as a bug

This is not a joke, this is an actual result of an “analysis” done by Microsoft after i submitted an automatic application crash report. Note that it says that the problem is “MSN Messenger is not responding” – well, i don’t have MSN Messenger on this computer and the program that crashed was Windows Explorer. But anyway, enjoy:

MSN Messenger is not responding: try these steps

Thank you for submitting an error report.

Problem description

This type error occurs when MSN Messenger is slow or has stopped responding and you choose to shut it down.

Possible causes

Our analysis shows that some of the reasons for unresponsive applications include, but are not limited to:

  • A problem in the application software itself—also known as a bug—that has caused the application to become unresponsive.
  • Spyware, malware, or other malicious software on the computer.

Thank you, Microsoft. I had a hunch that i’m an idiot, but now i’m sure.

The original might still be accessible here.


Ágætis byrjun

The show was pretty good.

אפשר לגלגל למטה להסבר בעברית ומילים.

סליחה על איכות הווידאו.

The good: A lot of people came. Mostly Miron’s friends, and a few of mine. The crowd didn’t boo us off stage (actually it wasn’t really a stage, we just stood on the floor and moved some tables away.) It was longer than we planned – well over an hour. We didn’t kill each other. We managed to play most of the songs from the beginning to the end, even though we rehearsed for only four days and Ofer the drummer forgot his beats notebook. Miron remembered most of the lyrics. The barkeeper payed us.

The bad: The lighting was virtually non-existent, hence the terrible video quality. Miron was pissed off at me for “playing jazz”. Actually i never played jazz before, but somehow i became jazzy during a couple of songs (but not this one). The sound wasn’t perfect, my piano was too loud, bass wasn’t amplified well, and Ofer kept complaining (rightly) about the lack of monitors, without which we could hardly hear ourselves.

But all in all, it was a pretty good start.

Ágætis byrjun means “a pretty good start” in Icelandic; it’s also the name of a wonderful album by Sigur Rós.

ההופעה הייתה לא רעה.

הטוב: באו הרבה אנשים. בעיקר חברים של מירון, וגם קצת שלי. הם לא שרקו בוז ולא העיפו אותנו מהבמה (בעצם זו לא הייתה ממש במה, סתם הזזנו כמה שולחנות ועמדנו על הריצפה.) זה היה ארוך משתיכננו – הרבה יותר משעה. לא רצחנו אחד השני. ניגנו את רוב השירים מהתחלה עד הסוף, למרות שעשינו רק ארבעה ימים של חזרות ועופר המתופף שכח את מחברת המקצבים שלו. מירון זכר את רוב המילים. בעל הבית שילם לנו.

הרע: התאורה לא הייתה כל כך קיימת, מה שמסביר את את איכות הווידאו המזעזעת. מירון התעצבן עליי על כך ש”ניגנתי ג’אז”. האמת היא שאף פעם בחיים לא ניגנתי ממש ג’אז כי חשבתי שאין לי מספיק כישרון לזה, אבל איכשהו בהופעה זה פשוט החליק לי באיזה שניים שלושה שירים (לא זה שרואים פה). הסאונד היה רחוק מאד משלמות, הפסנתר שלי היה חזק מדי, הבס לא היה מוגבר טוב ועופר התלונן, ובצדק, על המחסור במוניטורים, שבלעדיהם בקושי שמענו את עצמנו.

אבל בסך הכל התחלה נחמדה.

Ágætis byrjun זה “התחלה נחמדה” בשפה האיסלנדית; זה גם שם של אלבום נפלא של להקת סיגור רוס.

לבקשת הגולשים – תמליל:

…ככה הגעתי להודו, וחודש – כלום. מה זה המקום הזה. מה ההתלהבות? ואז אני יושב שם בוורקלה, מסתכל ככה על הצוק הזה עם הים, מסתכל על העמוד שמרכיב את הגדר, אני אומר למה? למה הייתם צריכים להשתמש בעמוד גרניט 10 על 10? שעה אתם חוצבים אותו. לכו תתפסו בזנ”ט כמו שפעם היו עושים בצבא … ואז יצא

עמוד גרניט

עמוד גרניט – המון עבודה,
ישר מהטבע הדרך קלה,
תיל מתוח כמו מסגרת תמונה,
צילום העיט על רקע הים,

האגו נפגע באיזו צורה,
אף רופא לא תיאר את חומרת הפגיעה,
קשה או קל, אולי בינוני,
שנים ידברו, תביני אותי,

זה קצת גדול עליי,
כשלא מנוסים,
ואין עננים, שמיים בהירים,
אלפי פליטים נוהרים לחופים,
זה חוף מקלט, ניצולי חבלים,

לאט לאט נכנס,
לאט זה מחלחל,
גל של ים ברעש מתנפץ,
אגוז של קוקוס נופל,
משהו נכנס בי אך גם משהו חסר,
אוכל את זה לאט, נזהר
לא להחנק.

People Speaking – Swimming

I’m doing an ISTQB certification course. “Rex” and “Assume” posts are related to it too. Here’s another nice one from it:

“… Sometimes it may be a good idea to formulate a bug report as a question. For example: ‘Is it supposed to crash?’ can be surprisingly effective. But don’t be cynical, like ‘So, it’s supposed to crash, eh?’ or ‘So, we went swimming yesterday, eh?’ – that’s not nice.”

Druze Musabbaha

After the nice Weekend With Folks i wanted to keep the good vibe and after politely telling mum that i’m not hungry i left the parents’ home at about 15:30 and went to a rehearsal with Miron. I decided to take my time and drove through Isfiya to find some hummus place. There were a lot of restaurants on the way. OK now, let’s see – “Carmel Garden”? Sounds like a tourist trap. “Carmel View”? Another tourist trap. “Best Druze Home Cooking”? Were you too lazy to make up a real name for your restaurant? A thought came to me that i shouldn’t go to any place that doesn’t have “Abu” in it’s name. A minute later i saw “Abu Salah – Hummus Ful”. Yeah baby.

I asked the modestly dressed Druze lady at the reception whether they were serving Hummmmmmus. Of course they were. She gave me a menu and i asked for musabbaha, which is the best kind of hummus – served warm and fresh. She was absolutely delighted to hear me pronouncing the name of the dish as close as i could to the way Arabs pronounce it.

The musabbaha was delicious, as well as the generous plates of pickled vegetables and falafel with tahina.

Dear MeahevServi – That’s my favorite part of life in Israel.

WWF – Weekend With Folks

I wrote this offline on Friday evening after having yet another veg talk with my mum:

— “I just want to understand – in what direction are you doing it?

— “Direction? What do you mean?”

— “Is it some group? Greenpeace?”

— “No. No group. Just us, we decided about it ourselves, we aren’t members of any group. I don’t think that there is any official vegetarian group in Israel. There are some animal rights groups here, but i’m not a member of any of them. There are vegetarian associations in other countries, such as England and America. Probably Russia too.”

— “Greenpeace people came, broke into a kennel of fur animals, released them all and burnt the building down. The kennel keeper wept – she said that if they wanted to save the animals’ lives, they did just the opposite, because in the wild they would die very soon. So what, are you like them?”

— “No, mum, i’m not a member of Greenpeace, i don’t break into places and i don’t burn them down. I just don’t eat meat.”

— “And what about the eskimoes? They live in the north, they need fur.”

— “Well, if they live in the north, i don’t know how i can help them. They can move to warmer places and they won’t need fur, but i don’t think they should be forced to do it.”

— “So you hate eskimoes? Do you know that they need to eat whale meat? The government doesn’t let them hunt whales anymore and now they don’t know how can they live and raise children. The need for whale meat is in their genes.”

I wanted to say that to the best of my very limited knowledge in biology it seems unlikely, but refrained, ‘cuz my knowledge is indeed very limited and even if i did know better, she wouldn’t listen anyway – by now it should be clear that parents in such situations do not let facts confuse them.

— “No, mum, i don’t hate eskimoes.”

— “You are getting extreme. You want to be like those that spill acid on people who wear fur. Those extremists, are you with them?”

— “No, mum, i’m not an extremist and i don’t spill acid on anyone. I just don’t eat meat.”

… Later:

— “So what about the music?”

— “Actually i don’t know about the music. I don’t really want to know. Let the music be whatever you want. As far as i’m concerened it’s gonna be crap anyway. I hate dancing and i hate weddings music.”

— “You don’t like to dance, because you don’t have any joy in your life. And you don’t have any joy in your life, because you don’t eat meat.”

Now, a bonus: I want to be A Good Linguist and Good Linguists don’t do such things, but as an exception, i constructed this phrase from pieces of other phrases, inspired by a certain book (guess which one). Sadly, no-one actually said it, but it conveys the spirit of the talk well:

— “Now I don’t understand anything in nutrition and I can’t order you to eat chicken, but you must eat chicken and that’s an order!

This vegetarian wedding thing is expensive and it depresses my and Hadar’s parents badly. Am i wrong somewhere?

… And with this depressing thought i went to sleep before my father came back from work. I expected an even harder talk with him in the morning.

I woke up at seven. Went back to sleep. By eight forty i couldn’t sleep any more. Killed some more time. Finally left bed at about nine. Dad made breakfast. Then we talked about music and he danced to a funny Leningrad song. And we talked about digital video recording technologies. And about tea leaves. And about prices of vacations in Eilat and the Dead Sea. And about the funny differences between Russian and Ukrainian. And then we worked in the garden – mowed lawn and cut plants that creeped into the neighbour’s yard.

Not a word about the damage of vegetarian ideology or the impossibility of throwing a wedding party without meat.

It was the best weekend with my parents ever.