Archive for April, 2005

Made Me Cry – The Day After Tomorrow and PostSecret

Seeing huge catastrophes, even if they are not so real, makes me cry. I didn’t cry about the Asian Tsunami that killed over 100,000. Sorry. No-one filmed it well enough. I cried at 9/11. It was live television. Well-directed documentaries about endangered species make me cry. And quite often ridiculous catastrophe movies do to. Yesterday i finally saw The Day After Tomorrow. The nonsensical plot made me laugh, but huge destruction scenes, millions of dead people, and silly politicks that interfered with the evacuation of Americans to Mexico made me cry – even though it was just a stupid movie. Besides, Emmy Rossum there is even hotter than Yulia Tymoshenko.

And there are no words to describe this blog: PostSecret.

Mail Order, part 2

Yulia Tymoshenko - the HOT Ukrainian prime-minister!

If i had the need to order myself a bride from Ukraine, it would be her – Yulia Tymoshenko. She’s forty-five years old, she writes her last name with a Y1, and she’s the hottest prime-minister on the globe.

I don’t really know what her platform is … She’s supposed to be the right hand of that Yuschenko freak, so she’s probably pro-European, pro-capitalist, pro-liberal, mildly anti-Russian and all that, which is probably OK, even though that regime is probably just a pawn in the grand plan of the Joint World Domination Government of Jews, Americans and Freemasons to finally succeed where the Tatars, the French and the Germans miserably failed – to conquer Russia. When war and scorched earth don’t work, bring on hot chicks! I totally agree. I won’t stand in their way. In fact, i’m adding her 88×31 button to my template. Maybe she’ll add mine too. Ya mama.


1 Which you have no chance of pronouncing correctly unless you’re Ukrainian. If you’re Russian you will be technically able to pronounce it correctly, but it will still be impossible psychologically. That’s the reason she doesn’t write it Тымошенко in Russian, but Тимошенко. It looks the same as in Ukrainian, but is pronounced quite differently. It’s not just an easy coincidence – her PR people understand how much the masses hate it when someone tampers with their language and they use this knowledge well. If you didn’t understand what i just wrote, you’re the masses. The hope doesn’t lie in the proles.

Wish

The Wish List feature of amazon.com could be put to a new use: Not only finding appropriate gifts for weddings and birthdays, but rather finding gift ideas to be given just like that, for free, without any particular reason. Make someone happy with a few clicks! Surprise! I wonder why Amazon didn’t patent it yet.

Anyway, i tried to do that to Roz a few weeks ago, but he didn’t have a Wish List, so i send him the automated email. He thanked me for my concern, but still didn’t create one. To prove him i’m serious, i sent him another one:

Hello,

I was looking for your Wish List at Amazon.com, but I couldn’t find it. I want to buy you something, and I want to make sure it’s something you really want. Create a Wish List at Amazon.com so I know what to get you. You think that i’m joking, but i am not. Of course, if you really feel like being a loser, disconnected from the modern online world and not having any friends, you can ignore this email again and not create a Wish List on amazon.com, the best website in the world, through which absolutely everything, including your life and soul, will be bought and sold at great discount within a few years; a wish list that could be actually used by your friends, such as me, to buy you gifts simply out forof sheer pleasure they get from giving and making others happy, instead of sending you crappy 8mb video clips which are supposed to be funny, but aren’t.

Thanks, and happy holidays!

Today is a Birthday, They’re Sucking Cigars

Aharoni in Unicode, Ya Mama is 2 years old. Happy birthday, blog.

My promised new idea will have to wait a few days. Due to unexpected circumstances i was computerless.

Stay Tuned, Girls and Boys

Amir Aharoni has a new idea for his blog, to celebrate its second birthday. Stay tuned.

Pull Me Out

As of this writing, my Blogger profile says “Russian-born and Israeli grown, i came out a free-thinker”. It’s about time to elaborate on that.

But first – there are a few sorries to say. I’m sorry if this here entry is too long and incoherent. It’s a stream of consciousness.

It’s scary to write what i’m writing now, but i have to do it. It’s about time. Staying in the closet for too long just hurts.

To all my friends who know me and think whatever they think about me and my opinions on issues – i’m sorry if i’m going to disappoint you. Sorry, Daniel. Sorry, Mira. But i’m firm.

I’m against The Withdrawal. The Disengagement. The Pull-Out. The Hitnatkut, or whatever you call it. I’m sorry, i don’t buy it; never did. I’m even sorry about the fact that i have to say that i’m sorry about it all the time. That’s the sad state of our society – being a certain kind of guy, i’m expected to have a certain opinion. Sorry, i have a different opinion and i’m not ashamed to sound it.

I am a secular cosmopolitan libertarian, a free-thinker. Pro-choice, pro-nuclear-disarmament, pro-gay-rights, pro-human-rights, pro-Greenpeace, pro-separation-of-church-and-state. Vehemently anti-racist. And i support the Jewish settlers in Gaza, Judea and Samaria. By this point, most people would say that it makes no sense. It does. I won’t try convince you that i’m right, but i’ll try to convince you that it makes sense.

I support them because in this unfortunate war, they are the good guys. This is an opinion; it is wholly subjective. Yes, some of them, quite a lot of them even, are violent religious fanatics. But, quoting Walter Sobchak, “at least they’ve got an ethos”. No, i don’t support messianic delusions of the likes of Noam Federman and Yigal Amir. I totally despise them. But i love the silent majority of settlers who are simply doing quite the same thing that the socialist Zionists in the beginning of the 20th century did – building and developing villages and towns amidst dense Arabic population. Tel-Aviv, Petakh-Tikva, Nir-David, Nazrath-Illit and Karmiel were all built amidst dense Arabic population. The early Zionists were the good guys then, because they came to build a new democratic country amidst Arabic negligence and dictatorship. The settlers of today are doing the same thing. The most fanatical Jewish religious bigot understands and supports democracy more than the average Arab. I don’t blame the Arabs; i don’t hate the Arabs; i don’t think that Arabs are stupid. I think they deserve independence and freedom, just like any other people. I do dare to think that they don’t understand democracy and that they would consciously choose dictatorship, negligence and underdevelopment. If they would only let us, we would give them democracy and freedom. Not because we’re better, not because we’re smarter. Because we were simply taught to think differently. We think freely; we don’t need a dictator to lead us; we, unlike them are not afraid to vote. I’m sorry if i sound racist here; i tried not to. But that’s what i think.

But leave the Arabs alone. The problem is ours. Most importantly, i support the Jewish settlers because they care.

Yes, they actually dare to care about something. In this age of total apathy towards politics and ideals caring is almost a crime. But forget politics and ideals; politics and ideals were the main reasons for most of the wars that mankind had. I’m talking about building. They care about building something new; planting crops; developing new flourishing communities. Show me someone from Tel-Aviv or Hertzeliya that actually cares about that. “Oh, yes, certainly i care about that; it’s very important”. But when even the kibbutzim hardly care about settling and development and agriculture anymore, what’s to say about the average bourgeois Israeli? He mainly cares about IKEA, plasma screens, digital cameras and discotheques. And yes, i know; the settlers in Gaza/Gush-Katif built their beautiful clean red-roofed cottages and flourishing greenhouses thanks to huge government subsidies, that many would say that they don’t deserve. But who does deserve them? Those people there work to build new homes for Israelis, they work and risk their lives. So why don’t they deserve the subsidies?

Ah, i know. “They are all religious fanatics. I don’t have anything in common with them. They just pray all the time. They are just stealing my tax shekels so they can pray more. They are not my brothers. They are not like me. I don’t want to be like them. I don’t care about them.” That’s what the average secular Israeli would say. In a way he’d be right. And the settlers really are to blame.

I watched their propaganda clip against the destruction of Gush-Katif. Their public relations people suck. They show the numbers of schools that would be destroyed if the withdrawal will go forth. Good tactic. Schools are good, destroying schools is clearly bad. But then they go and spoil it all by showing the number of midrashot, ulpenot, talmudey-torah and yeshivot that would be destroyed if the withdrawal will go forth. Bzzzt, wrong. That’s preaching to the converted. It’s the secular uncaring slackers from Tel-Aviv you need to convince, not religious Jews who support you anyway. The secular Israeli doesn’t know what midrashot, ulpenot and talmudey-torah are. These are all words in a language he doesn’t know. And he certainly doesn’t care that a few yeshivot would be closed – after all, his children won’t learn in those religious colleges, and as far as he’s concerned, it’s just a huge waste of his tax shekels anyway. He thinks that he’s a free-thinker, but really he doesn’t think at all.

Because if he would, he wouldn’t ignore the simple fact, that when the Arabs will see that terror earned them the destruction of yeshivot and ulpenot, they will go on and demand the destruction of secular schools in Maale Adumim and Ariel. And then they’ll proceed to the perfectly legal and 100%-Israeli Modiin and Karmiel and Haifa. Because as far as Hamas are concerned, the settlers in Gaza and the secular Israelis in Tel-Aviv are all one big enemy. He doesn’t care if an Israeli wears a kipa on his head or not. This secular, modern, educated, free-thinking and very naïve Israeli chooses to ignore the simple fact that as far as Hamas is concerned he doesn’t belong here in Palestine. He belongs in Poland, Germany, Iraq, Morocco, USA, Russia. Or best of all – in hell.

We are the good guys. Hamas and PLO are the bad guys. And we, consciously and quietly surrender. We must not be sane. This culture of Channel 2, Maya Buskila, Dudu Topaz, all that cretinous entertainment, made Israelis totally inept to understand the news. Even those Israelis that are addicted to watching the news everyday don’t understand a word. They don’t know what all this Sharon’s Pull-Out Plan is. They just want it to be over already. They care about the tax returns. They care about the prices of airplane tickets to Turkey. They care about the price of a minute of a cellular phone-call. They care about their children’s education. At least they think they care, but they don’t. They just don’t care about anything anymore. This is a complete atrophy of the mind; and thus our democracy is totally disfunctional. If this horrible Pull-Out Plan will be carried out and Jews will be deported from Gaza and Samaria, it’s only a matter of time, very short time, that they will be deported from Tel-Aviv, Jerusalem and Haifa and Karmiel. They? Oh, i really meant us.

I hope you’re disappointed. Sorry.

The Summer of Aharoni 5755

The spring here still hesitates. Jerusalem is really cold and windy. Tel-Aviv is very hot in comparison. The weather has gone quite crazy. I don’t mind, Israeli summers can be a drag.

Berry Sakharof released a new album. The timing is quite surprising – he usually releases his records in the winter. This time his reluctance from publicity took to a new level – he didn’t even release anything to the radio.

The record is good. Highly addictive. The best since Calor en la Luna. I admit that i was surpised and relieved. Negioth was a great disappointment after the stunning Luna and L’autre was excellent at times, but somehow imperfect. The new record, 11-alef, has Rea “Dumbeat” Mochiach in the production seat, and his electronic touch is felt, but the record is still rocking and very consistent.

The interesting part about the album, except the great music, is that the legendary studio wizard Steve Albini (of the Surfer Rosa and In Utero fame) is listed as one of the “recording technicians”. In Hebrew! I posted a question about that on Berry’s official message board and got an official reply from Mr. Mochiach himself, that Steve indeed recorded the drums on the song “The Whole Elephant”, Rea’s characteristic mumblefunk piece, in the vein of “Ani Rotse Midaber”. This messageboard question, however, lead to another wholly surprising development: a female board member, whom i shall call K. for privacy reasons, told me that she doesn’t know much about Steve Albini, but that my blog was interesting and that she’d be happy to meet me at the gig in Jerusalem. This was good, cuz first of all i didn’t even notice that there’s going to be a gig in Jerusalem, and more importantly, because i love meeting actual living people from the other side of the Net (Oh, Silvia, quando ti incontrerò?).

I went to the concert alone – Hadar was too busy with the homework. K. identified me and we had an interesting talk – apparently she’s a very serious musician. The gig was totally amazing. One of the best. As usual, it was much better than anything Berry ever played in Tel-Aviv, even though he had a sore throat. Rea played drums and was very precise and cool; he also sang backing vocals most of the time but, as usual, he was inaudible. In fact it’s getting quite annoying – keyboards and backing vocals are almost never heard at Berry’s gigs. I wonder why guitarist/back-vocalist Oren Lotenberg bothers at all. I think he even tried harmonies, but maybe i’m just imagining. To tell you the truth, however, it doesn’t really matter, because the guitar, bass and drums sound was superb. Berry knows what’s important. The place itself, “The Lab”, was surprisingly clean and orderly and large; it had an actual stage and seats and a dancefloor. Almost like a little Cinerama. Which is good.

K. stood next to me most of the time, but i lost sight of her at the end. It’s a shame, i didn’t even get to say “good night” properly. Even though i knew her for only a few hours, it felt kinda awkward.

Ah, and the beer was good too.

Idlewild

OK, it’s getting bad. I need a job. I must work. I’m going crazy without it. It’s not about the money; i’ve got savings. I’m becoming corrupt and insane without a … framework? Freedom, about which i think philosophically so much, is a good thing, but idleness is just bad.

I sent some more CV’s and i went to a few more interviews. I’m getting better at it, i guess. The very first interview i went through in December (that seems so far away!) was a disaster, and after that i felt myself improve, and the last ones were even better than i would imagine, but still it doesn’t help me. Everyone needs someone for a full time job, and in this industry “full time” doesn’t mean 100%, but around 150%. It’s unfair and probably illegal, but we the “high-tech people” deal with it somehow. The trouble is that it’s no place for students, even slacker students like me. I have to go through this annoying filter of HR managers, which have rigid job specifications and for them full-time means full-time, even though the manager that looks for the employee might think otherwise. I think they count on them too much. But well, that’s me. It doesn’t convince anyone that i’m an experienced self-learner, that i don’t care working a lot of extra hours, that VMS and Unix are almost the same. And i mean … crap.

The last company that interviewed me, actually impressed me: the initial interviewer (the HR girl) seemed the most professional ever. She said, among other things: “Your CV really stood out among all the other gibberish.” Whoa, i must be getting really good at that and i don’t even have to lie. Although i told her that i’m mostly experienced with Windows and VMS she sorted me into their Unix/Linux team. When their Unix expert interviewed me, i did well … i think. Well, i did try to polish my Linux knowledge in the past few weeks. The interviewer said that he’ll recommend me to his boss. Still no answer from them though, and ten days had already passed. At least that interview gave me more confidence in all matters Unix.

And the search goes on…

PUT IN AHARONI WITH HAPPY OCTOPUS FUN!

me and Putin partying hard
THIS AHARONI IN HAPPY WIG! LOOK AT VLADIMIR SHOWING HIS FUNNY HAPPY OCTOPUS TO THE WIG! THIS IS A REAL PICTURE OF VLADIMIR AND AHARONI WITH THEIR EGG AND BROCCOLI!
LOOK! I SAY THANK YOU TO DANIEL FOR THIS ENTRY WHICH IS RED! THANK YOU DANIEL FOR KING WINKLES WIG!



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